At the Risk of Hasty Generalisation, "Everybody Struggles."

At the Risk of Hasty Generalisation, "Everybody Struggles."

I know I do.

I struggle with a lot of things. Confidence. Feelings of inadequacy and underachievement. Disillusion. Procrastination. You know, the usual. Life is hard. And, I always find consolation in the fact that nobody can read my mind, so the struggle goes on. But sometimes, it can get frustrating, especially because it always feels like I'm the only one struggling. However, this is not true as I have come to learn over time, and as reinforced by my ongoing Outreachy internship. It's been a month already, a difficult month, but I have a new consolation: it's natural to feel this way, it's okay to feel overwhelmed, nobody has all the answers, and we are all in this together, interns and mentors alike.

Of course, it is so much better when your have mentors that are as supportive as mine. Even when I have no idea what's going on or how to proceed with my project, Lajos and Elvira are patient, understanding and offer help and suggestions in a friendly, non-condescending manner. I like the fact that they are not afraid to admit not quite understanding a given concept. One time, I asked Lajos why he'd suggested we make a certain change to the code base, and he said wasn't quite sure either. Due to the huge size of the OpenStack project, it's not easy to always know how everything works. I thought that was pretty cool.

My biggest hurdle, though, has been communicating my struggles to my mentors, as supportive as they are. I find it extremely difficult to start conversations or ask questions, especially in public, but Elvira and Lajos give me a nudge every now and then, making things a lot easier. I know that I must also make an effort to be better and make their lives easier as well. Challenge extended, and accepted.

In the same breath, and in the spirit of being in the same boat that is life, I'd say that I'm happy about the welcoming nature of the Neutron community, open-source communities in general, and would urge anyone to always choose to be kind. Everybody struggles, sometimes even behind a cheerful facade.